have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
