Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
As shirtless as possible
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
