mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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