I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
