I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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