I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
