allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
