I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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