Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
