I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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