YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
