mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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