Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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