he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Also, beer. Big fan.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
