me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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