I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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