dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
