Betty ford says i'm here all night
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
This toilet bowl is my home.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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