So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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