carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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