Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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