i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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