protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
