I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
