all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He told me they were just razor bumps!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
