I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This is the high leading the old right now
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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