Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He passed out mid-signature
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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