Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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