you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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