At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
