we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
