kristin has been a bad kristin
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
