It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
