i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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