I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
