New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
