I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
