i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
