Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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