i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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