im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
