"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
