He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
