so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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