We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize