I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
