I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
