Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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