Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
