We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize