it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You made out with two different species that night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
