My first STD was from a foam party
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
