booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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