your parents love me but you hate me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
