on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
