oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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