i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
