i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
