Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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