OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
