She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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