I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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