I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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