What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
