I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he thought i was a dude.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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