she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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