Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
