This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
