I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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