i just google imaged poop.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
