So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
