Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
